Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
