Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
How's work?
Spinning.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
