i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
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