i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
You took a bar mat shot.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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