Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
