imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
