if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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