I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
