Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
