member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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