Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
