i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Randomize