I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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