C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I need a beard to bite.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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