How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
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