We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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