I think im going to throw up on grandma
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Randomize
