And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
