I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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