i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
