remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
