they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize