Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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