Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
