besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
