Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
