Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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