I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
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