Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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