The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize
