so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
