I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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