i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I need a beard to bite.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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