Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Randomize
