The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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