i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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