Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize