Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Randomize
