YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
