I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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