I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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