Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
