Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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