Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
oh god the rape fog is back!
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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