It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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