I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
