i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
