gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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