you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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