Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
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