return my video game
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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