Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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