so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
