Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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