Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
