I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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