I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
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