Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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