i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize