summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
