If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
