Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
