i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
