If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
