Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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