what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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