We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
