Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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