listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
