i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
