we have officially lost it.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
