it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
