My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
