the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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